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A Christmas Story
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Every year a cable station
(TBS or TNT, I think) airs
this on Christmas day for 24 hours. 24 hours. And every year my
brother-in-law turns it on and leaves it on. Throughout the day, the movie is on in the
background, and as we pass by, we say the lines for whichever scene is playing. I
happened to not wait for the marathon showing and bought it outright so I could watch
it on July 4th over and over if I wished. This is not A Christmas story; it is THE
Christmas story and more enjoyable than It's a Wonderful Life ever was.
Jean Shepard himself narrates this tale with feverish
enthusiasm. The story is that young Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) wants nothing more
for Christmas than the Official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Lightning Loader
Range Model Air Rifle, but is forever thwarted by adults admonishing that "you'll
shoot your eye out." Before the thrill-packed conclusion, Ralphie must survive Scott
Fargus, the bully with yellow eyes ("He had yellow eyes!!"), his father's
battles with the furnace, translating Little Orphan Annie's secret message, his father's
"major award" (a lamp shaped like a woman's leg, woo-hoo!), a
child-hating department store Santa, and his own runaway imagination. All that and
much much more. Does he get the Official Red Ryder Car-- ahh, you know the
rest? Will the Chinese restaurant staff ever learn to sing "Deck the Halls?"
You have to watch it to find out. Check your listings on Christmas Day.
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