Paid for by maxing out his credit card and various loans which presumably have been paid back by now, Clerks was highly praised and started his filmmaking career.  I was aware of the praise during its release, and yet didn't watch it until sometime in 2001.  This was for several reasons.  1) Praised it was, but there was also talk of much swearing and discussions about sex, neither of which held any interest for me, 2) I've never worked in a convenience store, so figured I wouldn't relate to the characters, 3) I rarely shop at convenience stores, so couldn't even relate to the customers, either.

Do I regret not having seen it when first released, or now that I have seen it, regret having watched it?  No and no.  I only buy movies that I like.  The rumors are true; it's loaded with swear words, drugs talk, and sex talk, all of which are light years away from my world.  All right, not swear words anymore, but at the time, I didn't use anything much harsher than "damn."

The film depicts one day in the lives of Dante Hicks and Randal Graves (Brian Halloran and Jeff Anderson).  Dante runs the Qwik Stop convenience store, while Randal barely runs the RST video store next to it.  Dante is called in on his day off and laments it throughout the film, as well as the news that his former girlfriend is now engaged.  It doesn't matter that she'd cheated on him constantly; he thinks he still has a chance.

That's the plot, for the most part.  The film is mainly a series of vignettes, such as montages of customers being stupid, the clerks closing the store to have a hockey game on the roof, closing the store again to attend a funeral, and dealing with the daily annoyances that come with working retail.  Dante even gets the chance to talk to his ex-girlfriend, Caitlin Bree, in spite of his now having a vastly superior girlfriend.  Dante's problem is that he's a coward and an idiot when it comes to making his own destiny.  He hates his job but won't act to escape it, which is why nobody's surprised that he's still at the Qwik Stop by the time Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back hits the movie screens.  No doubt he'll work there until he dies.  As for Randal, he knows that being a clerk makes him all but subhuman to his customers, but doesn't care.  He's content for now just being Dante's perpetual foil, since Dante falls for his many tricks every single time.

What I Liked:

• Randal.  Although I'd never want to work with someone like him, and definitely not have him as an employee, he's fun to watch as Dante's tormentor.  And Dante is so clueless most of the time that he must be the sole reason that Randal continues working at that poor excuse for a video store.
• Jay and Silent Bob.  As always.  There probably isn't a single "actor" in this film who's ever been in front of a camera before, which is typical of independent films of this caliber.  Both Jason Mewes and Smith were doing register work at the time, and in spite of Mewes' real-life familiarity with the wares that Jay and his hetero lifemate peddle in front of the store, Mewes creates a truly memorable character, not necessarily through his line readings, which need work (just about everyone's do), but his body language.  Jay and Bob have one of the most memorable comedic entrances to a film here, where their characters are summed up perfectly in just a few minutes.
• Lots of jokes.  Clearly Smith's intention here was to make a comedy first, whether through character interaction or gags.  Granted, the montages of characters being stupid had a "ba-dump bump" quality to them, but they work.  There are many memorable quotes here, too, but best to go to something like imdb.com for those, since most coincide with my choices.

What I Didn't Like:

• The swearing.  Although I swear more now, I don't understand Smith's perception that the more swearing, the better.  But he never asked for my advice, so I can't give it to him.  At least the cartoons didn't have any, by necessity.
• Dante.  Don't get me wrong.  It's amusing to watch him and Randal interacting, but he really is an idiot when it comes to knowing what's good for him.  It's frustrating to see him bitch endlessly about his lot, yet do nothing about it.  In all honesty, I'm guilty in many ways of such inaction, but have made significant changes in my life that allowed me to improve it.  Still, and in spite of Dante being included in this section, I did pay homage to him by naming my current cat after him, because like Dante Hicks, my Dante is neurotic and acts like he's not even supposed to be here.

The Verdict:

Harmless fun, for the most part.  Watch it unless, like my mother, you're unable to get past endless swearing to enjoy the meat of the dialogue.